Honorable Mentions
"Hmm...I don't think the new Reliability guy is going to work out." by Lee Harrison
"Now go ahead. Place another $10000.00 in the slot and try again." by Martin Tremblay
"The early use of condition based monitoring had its own flaws" by Steve McGhie
Other Submissions
"The maintenance department was dealing with the budget cuts." by Sue Grafton
"After failling as an AI programmer and later as an EPA inspector, Reggie moved on to predictive maintenance.." by Martin Tremblay
"What did Melania say to Donald Trump on their honeymoon?" by Marvin Sager
"Just like the PA system did." by Myriam Kobylkevich
"OK, now let me see the palm of your hand!" by Christopher Spoor
"R&D gets Zoltar in response to BIG budget cuts" by Jatin Shah
"What is " If you don't stop production for the PM"" by Gary Wierson
"Murphy reaches a conclusion for the long-time question "To fail or not to fail?"" by Assem Abdou
"Finally, after a long awaiting time the succesful low bidder for commissioning provided his report." by Martin Tremblay
"Describe mandatory maintenance cutbacks." by Jeanne Clark
"There are ghosts in there." by Joe Davis
"This is not the predictive preventative maintenance program I was expecting." by Jeff Cortez
"The Great Karnack was hired during the PM shutdown for maintenance!" by Martin Czebotar
"You are not getting any good news unless you pay for a new chrystal ball..." by Martin Tremblay
"What is the worst scenario when the CEO and the board of directors show up for your presentation." by Chuck Lewis
"The Great Kaarnac predicts: "This is why the water is poka dotted."" by Joe Davis
"This is what will happen when Fred forgets to execute scheduled PM's." by Joe Davis
"This will happen when the lab rats were accidently released." by Joe Davis
"Patches? Patches? We don't need no stinking patches!" by Joe Davis
"We saved a lot of money letting the interns design the new unit." by Kenneth Russell
"A novel approach to predictive maintenance!" by Kiven Kiersey
"What was said by disbelievers of the Wright Brothers, the PC, and 3D printers?" by John Paulk
"This is the final report of the study "Benefits of cost reduction in control and instrumentation equipment"" by Nelson Jaramillo
"Seriously! I am a certified predictive maintenance engineer from the world famous Tijuana Trump University" by Martin Tremblay
"When?! What do you mean by when? Plus or minus 3 years??" by Martin Tremblay
"Six sigma initiatives increased production capacity by 50%" by Fred Durrenberger
"Isn't that Joe, the service engineer that was downsized in the last merger?" by David Ruff
"Fake News!" by Jeff Snyder
"Woody, from machine repair wore his Halloween costume to the production meeting to emphasize the need to make adjustments to the old press." by Chuck Lewis
"...As short of what? If one could only recall what was it running on.." by Emil Engi
"The Fortune Teller's bold prediction came true, Without the proper PM, R2D2 from Star Wars fame transformed into a Tesla Death Ray machine." by Chuck Lewis
"For those who joined later, here is a summary,before concluding our RAM study review.. (Audio background:song "One Moment in Time")" by Emil Engi