Honorable Mentions
"But regulating every single source of greenhouse gases, including cow farts, would be a monumental logistical challenge." by Carl White
"As you can see, the EPA requires a lot of documentation regarding spills in a nuclear reactor plant. Even if it is just a milkshake from the cafeteria." by Chuck Lewis
"After reading 1300 pages of the EPA report it suddenly dawned on Eli that the reported offsets could not offset the loss of trees of all the copies of the report itself, never mind the project." by Russell Byfield
Other Submissions
"These quarterly updates are getting out of control." by Heather Starr
"Perhaps a bigger cup of coffee and possibly a pastry may be in order for this report." by John Ewanish
"And just like that ... the day was done." by George Hudak
"Cooper suspected why he had carpal tunnel syndrome." by Dave Matta
"Try HSE they said. You get to sit a lot!" by George Hudak
"This should keep me socially distant from everyone for awhile." by Lee Harrison
"We need more action and less reading." by Marvin Sager
"And who so ever cause visible sheen on a navigable body of water shall forever be subject to fines and harassments for ever more, so sayth the EPA." by Christopher Spoor
"I was really hoping this was about East Palo Alto…" by Miles Andrews
"They had all warned him that it was the same anywhere you go. Now, Bob wondered if Ebenezer would take him back." by Ken Macholl
"At Chemfill Inc.,spills are down 90%. The CEO claims that the new EPA reporting process form has made a huge impact. Their new shop floor motto "YOU SPILL IT YOU FILL IT!"" by Charles Lewis
"Well it's no "War and Peace", but the ending is a real cliff-hanger." by Allen Hawker
"Determine the relative sections for our new process... We need it by tomorrow!" by George Hudak
"The Boss" by Kalpesh Modi
"Howard hated being just an intern." by Dave Matta
"Damnit. I'm a scientist. Not a writer." by Dave Matta