Honorable Mentions
"210 proof alcohol is theoretically possible if you add eye of neutron star to the mash." by Darrin Thompson
"No, it is not out of spec -- Derek commandeered the pilot plant to make soup for the company picnic." by Lee Harrison
"It's Celsius Bob...Celsius!" by George Hudak
Other Submissions
"I don't know why you insist on doing this manually." by Alyssa Bills
"Don't worry, it's hot enough to boil petrified lobsters." by Marvin Sager
"You forgot the eye of newt." by Joe Davis
"Ah"? That's not what I meant when I asked you to check the reactor's temperature!" by Denise Pigula
"It turn blue in our bench scale testing" by Jacob Nagar
"Wow man, this stuff is potent." "I know dude, this little stick keeps changing colors. It's so far out man." by Joe Davis
"The way your itching I have an Idea this isn't your first Lab. "Have one at home do yah"!?" by Christopher Spoor
"Hey Fred, turn on a vent. We can smell this funky odor all the way down the hall. Smells like a skunk who ate a dead fish." by Joe Davis
"Didn't you say the upper safety limit is 210°C? -- Yeah, why? -- UHHHH, RUN FOR COVER!!!!!" by Joe Davis
"I told you not to collect it from the Washington, D.C. swamp!" by Morton Evans
"You were certain this was the correct batch in the lab. This scale-up is costing a bundle. What's wrong?" by Kenneth Russell
"I don't care what your 'trusty thermometer' says; the solution is clearly past its bubble point!" by Christina Hermens
"As the company PR man, I think convincing the public to sample our new pea soup at 180 degrees F will be challenging." by Chuck Lewis
"It's not broken... The line can be red ...it doesn't have to be silver." by George Hudak
"I told you we couldn't predict what would happen if we added natural coloring." by John Opiola
"Have you figured out how to read that? I wish it had a HMI on it." by Ismael Ramon
"I don't think that's what the Boss meant; when he asked you to test his Mom's green chili recipe for the Company chili cook-off. You need a spoon, or an updated resume." by Jeanne Clark
"I think the Instrument guys misunderstood our request for adding a wireless temperature transmitter" by Assem Abdou
"Your pasta con broccoli has become pasta con blecckkk!" by Joe Davis
"Boss said for you to go to the company doc. Itching is a sign of overexposure to this stuff. And why aren't you wearing your PPE?" by Joe Davis
"The results would be better if we could afford cast iron pots from Canada instead of making our own clay pots a la GHOST..." by Martin Tremblay
"- And here it is. The new potato based rocket fuel NASA ordered for their spaceship. If they run out of water, they can use their last liter to dilute it and it turns into vodka!. - Are you in cahoot with Russia on this? - Nah... I just found that formu" by Martin Tremblay
"Simon, I think you stay with toothpaste processing and leave the wine making to the pro..." by Martin Tremblay
"Yes sir I DID IT!! You should have seen Maryès face last week when i told her i was going to make lipstick for the next 20 years. - Aha. Well, they might stick alright..." by Martin Tremblay
"Yup.. That's how i started to get bald... Just wait til you hit the rest room..." by Martin Tremblay
"I think we will need a control automatic system before something wrong happens¡" by José Flores
"Our secret is that we have found a way of keeping these microorganisms growing even at these adverse conditions. Thanks to this, our technology is very stable and reliable, virtually indestructible. Of course, if this bug ever gets out, life as we know it" by Alan Chihak
"Sorry Jim, I found out that purchasing has a new contract with a vendor in Sparta. Hence, the readings being all Greek to you." by Joe Davis
"Le pedí que midiera temperaturas de superficie, medio y fondo. Solo midió superficie!!!" by Roberto Quinteros
"So hows the punch for the company pitch-in coming?" by Michael Risk
"So what will it be? Dessert for the company picnicking or glow sticks for the Seals?" by Martin Tremblay
"Are you sure the thermometer is a good quality control sensor?" by Juan Casares Long
"There you go again...that's the 100th thermocouple that you've dissolved in that solution. In the end, we'll be making a thermocouple solution instead." by Mustaffa Ismail