Honorable Mentions
"Not only are these things good for recording inspections, if you're bored they can pick up ESPN and the Home Shopping Network!" by Phil Grimes
"Heads Up!" by Stephanie Arnold
"The Borg Collective started out simple enough." by Jim Koch
"I know we all think Zoom meetings are the way to go right now but the boss says we need to come into work." by Kenneth Russell
Other Submissions
"Hey, did you know we could tap into Netflix with these?" by Sara Mark
"Picture this, your MEMORY has now drastically improved." by Marvin Sager
"Since I practiced my speech in the mirror, I'm going to need you guys to wear these to get the full effect." by Sandy Exum
"Now I know how stupid that I must look to you." by Tim Feider
"yadda yadda yadda... They are called CYA system and all management can erase the recordings" by Gordon Campbell
"Okay Bob, looks like we got your receiver properly set. Now repeat after me, "Resistance is futile."" by Richard Molsbee
"This is part of our new Green program - they will replace notepads in meetings!" by Phil Grimes
"Our job is to walk the facility all day while these new gizmos play safety videos on a loop. It will help with our safety training requirements." by Phil Grimes
"This is the very latest in mind-reading technology. Be careful what you think." by Phil Grimes
"The new normal.. hard to get back to real interaction!" by George Hudak
"High Tech Whisper Challenge of Daily Operating Instructions. We'll see if Sally stays the Ace Operator..." by Jeanne Clark
"And the next time I send you a live conference feed and you say, we’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors”. You’re fired!" by Chuck Lewis
"When we're done we'll have the first-ever foogle map of a plant!" by Larry Shade
"Old man Smithers attempts his first zoom meeting.“I called you all into my office so we could video chat”" by Chuck Lewis
"Is this what they mean by "Digital Communication Protocols"?" by Matt Giunta
"Soon social anxiety will be a thing of the past!" by T Feider
"I see one of you gets it....." by Charles Dean
"This is how we gather images for the "Google Factory" APP, mapping the entire place so people can find their way around. They "promise" to blur all of our proprietary processes for free..." by Robert Bauer
"He noticed how much he liked to hear himself talk and took it to the next level." by Hannah Atkins
"Now - that I can see what's on your mind..." by Avihu Hiram
"That's hilarious, Dave, but I don't think Bob and Wendy got it." by Craig Koerner