Winner
Yes that is correct I left my last job when a hell of a freeze resulted in the Cubs winning the world series. by Peter ThielenHonorable Mentions
"You'll find my records under my legal name, Donald Trump." by Joe Davis
"Bill, SS# sure, 666-G2-7734 !" by George Hudak
"I know all there is to know about fire I mean heat transfer and getting into hot water." by John Opiola
"For transparency I and my former employer had leadership issues." by Lemuel Granada
Other Submissions
"I've got experience with heat processing and fire and explosion best practices." by Nathan Winfield
"My last position was hellish!" by Fred Infortunio
"I am perfect for your new BBQ pit master, I have been spit-roasting for years." by Dave Laycock
"i know there are gaps in my employment record, but I promise you that I am ready to be a contributing member of the team." by Kenneth Russell
"My mistake, I didn't realize this was a Christian owned business. Do you have a back door I can quietly sneak out of?" by Joe Davis
"I deceive, cheat and lie a lot, I'm highly qualified for top management!" by Martin Czebotar
"I'm also the " HALLOWEEN DEVIL'S ADVOCATE" who apply for jobs at this scary time of the year like myself." by Marvin Sager
"Without me, there would be no Go(o)d!" by Jatin Shah
"But I know I would be perfect for the HR position." by Richard Gauthe
"Sometimes a sinus infection has its upsides." by Richard Gauthe
"Well, in my own defense, that was a very, long time ago and they were in breach of contract." by George Lavoie
"To climb the ladder of success, I just figured I'd start at the bottom." by John Ostrander
"I have extensive experience in thermodynamics and HR recruitment" by Gerald Pippin
"Just write: Politician" by Jesus Velazquez
"Is this where we sign up for "POLITITION TRAINING"?" by Rob Belk
"You can check all of the details and you will see that I am there." by Ralph Quigley
"I have a long experience in energy generation, you can ask to anybody of my skill on this field." by Miguel Monsalve
"I thought I could learn a few new tricks from the FDA." by Richard Omara
"My first Job? Oh I was a trip advisor for a guy named Adam and his wife Eve!" by Scott Griffin
"Let's just say that I've been working... "Down Under"!" by Jim McDow
"O! Another irrelevant evil soul!. Sir; we know who you are. Just do not call us, we will call you!" by Rabih Zayed
"My last employer fired me because I wouldn't shave my goatee. Honest!" by Craig Koerner
"Based on your results, I will have to strongly suggest that you go straight downstairs to the HR department. That's Hell's Recruitment, not Human Resources." by Joe Davis
"I'm sorry, I'm very nervous.....Is it hot in here?" by Joe Davis
"So, you're saying that you CAN'T find ANY redeeming qualities for me?" by Joe Davis
"The long, vast experience and knowledge that I gained as "king of the bottomless pit" should be more than equivalent to the prerequisite university degrees you mention in your job description for the position...." by Orlando Rainey
"Actually, I wasn't fired from my last job, I was banished for thinking I was better than my boss. And yes, I do have anger issues." by Joe Davis
"Sir, it says here: U R Unreliable Employee!. U don't Bend. U Challenge the Status quo And U Did not Jump on The Master 's bandwagon! So I guess U R doomed for the rest of your life into HELL!" by Rabih Zayed
"I lost my last job because I couldn't get along with my BOSS." by Ron Belk
"If you hire me, I may consider not (fire-ing) you." by Christopher Spoor
"I'm seeking a company I can move up in!!" by Christopher Spoor
""just one name" Satan that's S...A..T" by Cyle Doran
"You want some personal history? Well OK.. Long ago, in a celestial palace far, far away...." by Joe Davis
"I reeeally want this job. Bill, I know where your family lives! How's little Timmy been feeling? Bill are you hearing me?" by George Hudak
"I once was a Lawyer!" by Julian Voss
"My employer sent me to clarify some information in my background check." by Nelson Gil
"My birth name was Lucifer, I go by Satan, but my wife just calls me her little devil." by Joe Davis
"At my last place we always dressed up for Halloween." by Christina Hermens
"My last job was a nursing home entertainment director." by Gary Wierson
"I left my last job as a political campaign strategist because it pushed below my ethical standards." by Beverly Konieczny
"You're kidding right?" by Robert Pyke
"I did it all; murder, mayhem, evil! Then that "Hillary" person started running for office again. I knew my days were numbered when I was told she was after my job! So here I am!" by Robert Pyke
"So Donald, you want to be president huh?" by Kevin Summ
"I'm not evil. I'm just misunderstood." by Kenneth Russell
"I heard you wanted a Devil-Up-Men' Manager" by Assem Abdou
"Yes, I had a DEVIL of a time at my last job. It was GOD-AWFUL." by Ron Belk
"You got me. Perhaps I wasn't totally truthful when listing my accomplishments." by Dave Switzer
"I failed the polygraph test?" "The Devil you say!!" by Chuck Lewis
"I have had some trouble with contacting people for character references lately." by John Mentink
"It was getting a little heated where I last worked.." by Robin Plance
"In tough situations for you Humans, I can connect to God for answers!!" by Suresh Nama
"No, I don't have a Green Card. I just crossed over this morning..." by Larry Shade