Winner
When they said they were going to downsize, I didn't realize they meant "us". by Jeanne ClarkHonorable Mentions
"We're going to need more people to hit the torque spec on this one!!!" by Randy Pound
"Remember, Righty Tighty. Lefty Loosey." by Dave Switzer
"Must be metric..." by John Ostrander
"I find these BIG jobs to be REBOLTING!" by Jim McDow
"Look on the bright side Frank, they could have handed us the toilet plunger." by Dan Diamantstein
Other Submissions
"Is it lefty loosey?" by Joan Lutz
"Go get the toolbox. We need a 1,500 mm." by Dave Willis
"We must be in an episode of "Honey, I shrunk the kids"!" by Martin Czebotar
"Before we get this open, are you sure that we are wearing the right PPE?" by Orlando Rainey
"Guess we're lucky Joe, the guys next door are having to use the sledgehammer from this toolkit for their little problem!" by Dave Laycock
"I'm a wretch with a wrench. Is it possible to "bolt" this mission?" by Marvin Sager
"Hi, I'm Gulliver!" by Mac Maclaren
"I thought you said we were going to need a bigger Bolt!" by Nick Thielen
"Where's Donald Trump when you need him? This problem is HUGE!!" by Nathan Paul
"Ok Ralph ! This is the smallest bolt that we have on the site." by Stephane B.
"All I know is the Super said "it better not come loose"" by Mike Patton
"I said I needed the 48 inch not the 47 7/8th inch wrench." by Joe Davis
"It'll take all day to tighten that bolt with this thing. I think we should use a socket wrench." by Craig Koerner
"That was the management input ... from big to great!" by Gianluca Premoli
"Are you absolutely sure this is just a two man job? And, for your information, I'm not getting up on your shoulders to do this." by Joe Davis
"Thanks Harvey for the help. I'm not going to tell you what I thought the GM told me when he suggested I do this on my own............." by Joe Davis
"Hi, I'm Gulliver!" by Mac Maclaren
"Be ready to catch the bolt when it comes out." by Fred Durrenberger
"Where's that big ape Kong when you need him? Oh, he's still in with HR. He keeps picking up Faye from accounting and climbing to the roof." by Joe Davis
"On 2nd thought, we need a socket, the 1" x 48" driver and at least a 3ft cheater pipe. A young man about 250lbs wouldn't hurt either." by Janie Rucker
"I am sure that was my cell phone ringing." I'll be back......maybe." by Chuck Lewis
"Do you know when they will stop calling me 'The Spanner'?" by Charlie Colquhoun
"If this wrench slips, I think more than our knuckles are going to get scraped!" by Chuck Lewis
"Well let's find out is it metric or SAE bolt!?" by Mirceta Elez
"Damn cartoon sales tools!" by George Smith
"Let´s do it ... the big one is waiting for us in the new big building!" by Jesús Velázquez
"Construction read the scale on the drawings wrong and this wrench is how the engineers solved the maintenance issue." by Jeff Cortez
"This is production scale-up gone wrong." by Jeff Cortez
"I think we've been had, let's bolt!" by Mike Kolf
"I heard Mr. Gulliver became the new plant manager. Yeah, he just left for some trip." by Kenneth Russell
"Are you nuts??" by Nick Morante
"Should we call our Rotating Engineer for help?" by Regina Navarro
"Size alone matters!!!!!!!!!!" by Santhiraj Sathanna
"Bob, I got this. You go get the cheater bar!" by George Hudak
"This corporate "downsizing" has gone way too far for my tastes!" by Patrick Caserta
"I didn't sign up for screwed up projects bigger than my problems!" by Michelle Lockett
"So I says to myself, SELF! That there is a big ass wrench. Aint no way you can lift up that big ass wrench by yo sef. Go git Jerry, yea Jerry will help pick up the ginormous wrench. And, low and behold with your help we done picked up this ol big ass wren" by George Lavoie
"That's not the right bolt. Someone painted over the stop sign!" by Randall Butler
"2 Nuts for 1 Screw" by Halbert Pierce
"This is why I don't like metric bolts." by Dan Houghton
"Hey, you that wrench wont fit that bolt.because it is the wrong size." by Donald Drummond
"Why do I feel like we are in the twilight zone?" by Robert Andrew