Winner
My manager said to improve the batch process and make a lot of dough or else I would get fired. by Jose TorresHonorable Mentions
"Since when did we start SCALING UP mixers and blenders??" by Payal Yelne
"So you think the vibration is the biggest problem with this unit?" by George Hudak
"It's a birthday cake for Trump. We're making it to match his ego." by Joe Davis
"I don't remember crossing over into the Willy Wonka factory..." by Robert Andrew
Other Submissions
"I think we need to contact Dave Dickey -- he's the mixing guru." by Elyse Alex
"This must be a Betty Crocker overly inspired and financed recipe!" by Marvin Sager
"Check out our new Sunbeam Mix Monster." by Dave Switzer
"I knew that stirring the pot would cause issues." by Albert Walrave
"well lets learn salsa dance with this shaker" by Carlos gpe Martinez
"The next step is adding color to the new business strategy" by Ruth Rodriguez
"Hey Joe how come we have such big mixer to mmix bulk items?" by Donald Drummond
"What do you mean, who's job is it to lick the beater!" by Chuck Lewis
"Might be a little out of balance." by Robert Andrew
"Who specified the new mixer as super heavy? The wife of the director of operations?" by Ernesto Calderon
"Must be one heck of a cake!" by Jack Hipple
"Works just like the home version, just on a larger scale. And yes, we can change the mixer blade." by Eric Coulter
"I hear the server the CFD program runs on was down when they had to finish the scale-up design from the pilot unit..." by James Cox
"So you didn't anticipate the need for a working platform in the capital request?" by George Hudak
"We found it cheap at Fingerhut!" by Joseph Bedson
"I thought "There's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on" was only a song!"" by Joesph Bedson
"We are finally making a lot of dough here!" by Joesph Bedson
"Stan, don't you think we need to move the emergency stop button?" by George Hudak
"Bob, is this from the new mixing division of BigAss Fans?" by George Hudak
"This must be the new mixer that Paula Dean designed for Honey Boo Boo." by James Higginbotham
"Boy! That new Pillbury Mixer is much batter!" by Frank Hicks
"I keep telling the chemist that our equipment won't hold up to running such a high rpm but he never listens to maintenance." by Janie Rucker
"How many bagels will we get out of this batch?" by Martin Czebotar
""The boss said that we were going to have a big mixer". "I thought he meant a party to meet the new folks!"" by Chuck Lewis
"IT'S ALIVE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!" by Joe Davis
"The boss said it had to be scaled up exactly like the lab's process..." by Larry Shade
"This thing is too small and we overloaded it again. I told the Project Team we needed the larger Kitchen-Aid Industrial Mixer." by David Debari
"The CEO's wife ordered some big cakes for the weekend so we had to get this new mixer." by Dave Laycock
"We need only a couple of fixation clips and then it will be perfect!" by Gianluca Premoli
"Bob, this is either a bad dream where we have been shrunk to the size of a flash drive, or somebody is getting fired!" by George Hudak
"I told the scale up guys we needed an equivalent. Well, I think we got one." by Miller R
"Our new engineer chose equipment to closely mirror the lab process The alignment process failed to account for the vibration and noise at the larger scale. ." by Orlando Rainey
"Its a bit shaky, we bought it at Paula Deen's yard sale." by George Lavoie
"Our job is to ship it. It's up to the Keebler Elves on how they are going to install it into their tree." by Chuck Lewis
"How do you reach that RED button?" by Roger Cassell
"This is what happens when John knows he is going to be fired and is put in charge of the new mixer purchase - looks like he plans a great going away party with one heck of a going away cake!" by Syd Furrow
"Let's Get Ready to RUUMBLE!!!!!!!" by Jose G Vega
"The CEO's wife wants a new mixer for her bakery business." by Quintina Frink
"Engineering safety devices? Are you kidding? I just picked this beauty up 'as is' real cheap at a GoodWill store down the street." by Joe Davis
"Scale-up in this case was easy." by Mike Kolf
"I said a "counter top mixer over there," not an "over-the-top mixer!"" by Dan Houghton
"Why is the Emergency Stop button way up there?" by Dan Houghton
"OK, how do we dump it when the batch is ready?" by Larry Shade
"Our process engineer wanted to be a baker." by Mike Kolf
"This cake ought to satisfy my sweet tooth." by Richard Gauthe
"Bob, I am not trying to point fingers, but these new women engineers don't think like the men. I said order a big mixer for the plant....." by George Hudak
"We better go get our face shields." by John Ostrander
"Management is trying to create a "like home" work atmosphere." by Tomas Brito
"Oh, the winning and cheapest scale-up project missed to increase the workers to reach the button." by Ille Johannes
"I told the Engineering department not to let the interns put this thing together. It's obvious they still don't know how to read schematics." by Joe Davis
"That's the last time we hire a former chef to design our next batch blender!" by Fred Gregory
"Now what? Ed purchased this monstrosity just before he got laid off. I think he knew and this was payback." by Joe Davis
"We truly are just beginning to learn the art of "magnification"." by Johann Cruz
"We were asked to make our new malaxing technology more visually accessible to shareholders." by Romain Raballand