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The new boss had it put in with a direct feed to every office.
Productivity is up 50%!"
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Honorable Mentions
"Seemed like a good idea, but we forgot about what the birds add to the blend." Submitted by Kevin A. Wilke
"We thought it was a useful way to recover waste heat after the last energy audit." Submitted by Jon Pasek; Greenville, S.C.
"I don't think this will fool the EPA." Submitted by Traci St. John, Westlake, Ohio
Click here to see the current Comical Processing cartoon.
Other Submissions
"This was cheaper than offering everyone flex time." Submitted by Lisa M. Pantano; Bridgewater, N.J.
"Corporate's solution to the economic crisis." Submitted by Syed Imran Akhter
" Oh My God!! Don't you know that contact water vapor is a reportable emission!!!" Submitted by Christopher Nielsen; Summit, N.J.
"The carbon emissions alone put us out of compliance." Submitted by Mark McCurdy
" Well! I certainly didn't expect this when I told you to stop the night shift from sleeping on the job. " Submitted by Christopher Nielsen; Summit, N.J.
"I told you to do 'number-up' not 'scale-up.'" Submitted by Hans-René Bjørsvik; Bergen, Norway
" You would have to have 2 really really big straws to sip from." Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg, W. Va.
"Maybe we could use an exhaust fan and a Heat Recovery System to make it 'Green,' so we can get Tax incentives." Submitted by David Soper; Gastonia, N.C.
"You did a nice job with the installation, but it still needs a temperature and level transmitter." Submitted by David Soper; Gastonia, N.C.
"I'm telling you, because it has 2 Fs in it EPA will consider it a greenhouse gas." Submitted by Steve Brown; Parkersburg, W. Va.
"It's actually just a fancy stack with a steam hose ran to it . . . it was either this or the union goes on strike." Submitted by Daniel Kinsell
"It's part of Management's 'speed wins' program." Submitted by Kevin A. Wilke
"We're applying the 'build it and they will come' concept." Submitted by Kevin A. Wilke
"And this is the cornerstone of our new profit sharing plan." Submitted by Kevin A. Wilke
"We were challenged to think outside of the box on how to improve staff efficiency one morning . . . " Submitted by Kevin A. Wilke
"Where do you keep the cream and sugar?" Submitted by Karyn S. DeWolf
"And now the neighbors are complaining ‘cause their kids are bouncing all over the place!!" Submitted by Richard Gauthe
"How is anybody supposed to drink that?" Submitted by Mervin Archer; Grove, Okla.
"Yeah, it seems like overkill but when the plant manager wants his coffee, he WANTS his coffee." Submitted by Jeff de los Santos
"You should see the sugar and creamers . . . " Submitted by Robert Andrew
"With the way things work around here, that should last about an hour." Submitted by Robert Andrew
"Just another Corporate Overhead Problem!" Submitted by Martin Treuhaft
"Decaf or regular?" Submitted by Ronald Dixon
"We felt this would stimulate our chemical reaction dwell time." Submitted by Jeff Schumann
"You thought Starbucks was overpriced before. Now they're contracting. " Submitted by Jason Gathright
"After we repainted the tank the EPA auditors quit asking questions." Submitted by Ron Strybos
"The aroma from your big big cup of coffee comes up into the plant I work at also makes me want to have a cup of your brew." Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg, W. Va.
"It pays to be the world's first and only caffeine-powered plant. . . everyone here is just perky!" Submitted by Christine Banaszek; Hauppauge, N.Y.
"Yes Wally, in a twist of fate, it is Eddie Haskel's job to do the internal inspection." Submitted by John M Patterson; Borger, Texas
"We've got a level control issue with that tank. For some unknown reason it always runs empty at break time!" Submitted by Jim McDow
"Just thinking of the McCabe-Thiele chart gives me the jitters." Submitted by James Bautsch
"Our consultants have verified a direct correlation to the release of these plumes and the growth of over superior noses among our employees." Submitted by Justin Smith; Plano, Texas
"I didn't sleep tonight. I need large cup of coffee." Submitted by Aleksandar Anastasovski
"I think we can look upon this as a wake-up call." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"Nobody sleeps on the job in my factory." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
