Sorry but green Kool Aid is the only thing your insurance plan will pay for.
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Honorable Mentions
"No this is Green Bull . . . it puts wind beneath your wings."Submitted by Jatin Shah
"C'mon! If it worked for the Hulk, it should work for you, too!" Submitted by Stephen Goldhahn
"Urine sample? This is more like a Chardonnay sample." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
Click here to see the current Comical Processing cartoon.Other Submissions
"Come on just one more dose, what's the worst that can happen?" Submitted by George Collins
"Maybe if we call this beer and we sing that old traveling song together. Ready. . . ' 99 test tubes of beers on the wall 99 test tubes of beer.if one should fall 98 test tube of beers on the wall.'" Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"With those shoulders, even massive doses of steroids won't help. No, if you expect to out-hit Barry Bonds, this is your only hope." Submitted by Konrad Schwoerke
"Sure propylene glycol will get your temperature down . . . it works in my car engine!" Submitted by Jim McDow; Augusta, Ga."Drink this Brother. Your our last hope to have offspring to keep the Geekenschlitz family name alive." Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"Before drinking this, Brad Pitt looked just like you. Trust me. . . I'm a doctor!" Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"Now that I have your Release of Liability form in my file here, try this new concoction. It should reduce the tongue swelling. If it doesn't, the 'something extra' I added will help you to forget about it at least. " Submitted by Kellye Carter
"Your swollen nose isn't from sinus problems, it's from lying. I have the same problem. Here, take this. It won't hurt you." Submitted by David Delaney
". . . how would I know what's in it? I only sell the stuff?" Submitted by David Martin
"Sorry, because of the healthcare cutbacks, all I can give you is this stuff we found in the basement." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"You say that you've been off the bottle and this is your urine sample!" Submitted by Robert Valeri
"If it's not palatable, it is available as a suppository." Submitted by Jason Pielaet; Batavia, N.Y.
"Due to cutbacks, our own lab now makes all the medication for the company health plan." Submitted by Doug Mancosky
"Here take this. It will make one of us feel a whole lot better." Submitted by Robert Wherry
"Take this anti aging potion . . . I use it myself." Submitted by Bob Andrew
"It will taste awful at first . . . well, to be completely honest, the middle and the end are no picnic either."Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"I see you were out celebrating St Patrick's Day last night." Submitted by Tim Nett
"Drink This and it will cure anything that ails you .Good Luck." Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg, W. Va.
"In answer to your question . . . the expiration date is today . . . so please Mr. Guinea drink up now!" Submitted by Dale A. Hayes
"Even medicine is going green." Submitted by Karyn S. DeWolf
"Take this and call me in the morning." Submitted by Mervin Archer
"This will taste awful, but you'll feel better in no time." Submitted by Al Pisano
"Drink this, it will get rid of that stupid look on your face!" Submitted by Harold Paine
"My prognosis . . . urine trouble." Submitted by Kevin Summ
"Here, this will help you enjoy brown nosing more, trust me I know."Submitted by Rick Staley
"Try this . . .it's the new 5-year energy drink." Submitted by Don Haese
"Some of the lads in the lab were wondering whether you've ever thought of bottling this commercially."Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"Here -- the pharmaceutical company says this will put hair on your chest." Submitted by Jerome Aimee, Akron, Ohio